A Prayer Warriors Journey

Chapter 1

A boy child was born on a cold wintery day in a large mid-Western city. The child was a breach birth and with a hernia.
His mother named him Mathias, she cried for this child for she could See how his life would be. Call it a mothers’ instinct or just a knowing-Regardless, she knew.
Docie Mathias’ mother loved him from the beginning of his young life. She prayed for him daily for his pain, and the knowing that tugged at her heart. He, she knew, would be a wonderer and a wonderer he became. His wondering was set in motion at a very early age. Keeping him from the outside when he crawled made for a heyday for mom. As an infant, Mathias’ pain was unbearable. He cried and winced a lot. Suddenly one day his crying and wincing ceased to the amazement of his mother and the doctors. His lower abdomen was still red and swollen, but the doctors could only scratch their heads and look perplexed, leaving Docie to wonder also. Another part of her knew by faith that her prayers were answered. The doctors informed Docie that Mathias may never be able to produce children.
This was an early diagnosis. A theory on the part of the doctors, Faith in the Lord God overrides all earthly matters.
Mathias as a toddler played alone most of the time while his siblings gathered together making up games to keep them occupied. Docie surely had her hands full raising seven children alone. With their father spending his time in and out of prison, Docie struggled to keep them fed and clothed on what little she was able to provide through inadequate work.

As Mathias grew, his mother and oldest sister, Bethany had to keep watch on him for he would want to wonder out the door to “Go to bye go” as he said it. His mind journeyed to the wonders of his small world. Time passed, yet Mathias never tired of trying to escape the confines of that apartment where they lived. Being in a big city with all the sounds day and night kept Mathias’ mind occupied.
For Docie, the struggles became too much for her to handle. What she provided alone wasn’t sufficient enough to care for her children. Having no choices, there came the day she was compelled to contact her sister, Anias and her husband, Baxter to inquire if they would take the children so Docie could focus more on securing the means to support her seven children. Knowing she had no other avenues besides her sister and her husband, as they had offered months before to take the children.
Anias and Baxter readily agreed they would keep Docie’s children for a time. Docie was not aware there was trickery in the minds of Anias and Baxter concerning their offer.
So it was decided Mathias and his siblings would reside with aunt and uncle Anias and Baxter within a few days. Docie kept them close to have the time in which she could hold them to assure the children all would be well with them. There were no other offers to care for them with any other family. Little did Docie or the children know the treachery in Anias and Baxter’s hearts, although the years would tell the story. Mathias soon came forth with the truth of their treacherous ways.
 

Chapter 2

At the age of four years Mathias began a very long journey into the unknown. This journey was to take twists and turns that would boggle a young mind, yet Mathias seemed to be attuned to the situation. His first memory was of Anias sewing her arm that had been cut with a butcher knife in just one of Anias and Baxter’s many fights with one another. Mathias stood watching as Anias sewed her own arm with a needle and white thread. Blood was pouring from the wound, covering the kitchen table and spilling onto the floor. Her face was bloody also, with split lip and bruises turning black, Mathias could only stare at the carnage showing no emotion.
As love came through rough emotions, He knew no spirituality, no religion, no connection with God, and so it was through his young years. He would stand and peer out of eyes wondering what and why of people and the world. Quietness became his way, looking and not speaking.
He had another memory of standing on a couch looking intently out the window. In his mind’s eye, he could make out a war of soldiers, tanks, and guns big and small. Suddenly the vision in his mind was gone. What a frightening sight for me it would have been. To him he wondered in years to come why he as a child then could perceive such a vast array of men of war. This vision has stayed with him through the years of growing and he has shared the thought (or vision) with only a few.
 

(MAN OF WAR, MOUNT YOUR CANNONS)
(MARCH ON TO YOUR DESTINATION AS WAS MEANT,)
(O MAN OF WAR.)

Childhood years are vague of memories, for the child darkness through time outweighed anything happiness may have brought forth.
Mathias has another memory of sitting in a classroom as a small child wondering; What am I supposed to be doing here in this strange place? For one whom did not speak much the experience was a bit trying. Teacher is speaking, children are busy being noisy with their surroundings…the child sits dazed and confused. There were no drums to transform the senses of the young mind at this time or to help the creative juices flow naturally, for it was but a few years before he heard the heartbeat of the drum. As his mind pondered, the teacher asked him to respond to a question she had asked the class; as was his way, he sat in silence. The teacher was stunned by his blank stare. Suddenly she focused on another child with their hand raised and called on them for the answer to her question. The teacher would glance at Mathias in wonder while she glided about her classroom like a whirlwind with all the children making loud noise and ruckus. Mathias looked on, bewildered of how they all could make such noise as he thought it to be, while he slowly performed tasks he believed were important. Oh, what a fiasco! His aunt would ask him why he wouldn’t participate; he would shrug his small shoulders and continue on in what he was doing at the moment while thinking, I didn’t want to be part of the noise. So it was through the years in the phases of his life that he never had a tolerance for loud noise or chaos.
 

Chapter 3

Mathias remembers the smell of rain filling the evening air, as fresh water cleans from the heavens incited the senses of awareness to a child who felt safe outdoors where he felt akin to nature. As the evening gradually gave way to purple hues in the western sky, a hawk flew to a low nest hidden amongst the shrubs in the forest floor. The child’s keen senses could calculate a coming storm. More than a storm; a foreboding came over him as he stood silently and listened. As darkness fell upon the land, a wind came up and spoke of ominous happenings. As it was, his aunt was frightened of storms, and as the wind proceeded to howl louder and the minutes ticked by, in her fear she grabbed the children and ran for the shelter underground. She was screaming like a Banshee as the tornadic winds whipped and rushed upon her and the children. She continued dragging them in a line behind her as fast as her feet could run.
Mathias stared through saucer-sized eyes at the fascinating calamity of what he later described as “an exciting adventure” except the woman looking past the state of panic. No words could describe her look. The storm totally unbalanced her. One stood in awe at the majestic power wrought by nature, and how its fury could transform the human condition. As stewards of the earth we are met with certain obligations and challenges through the generations.

Chapter 4

As children we lived a meager existence. Housing, clothing, food, warmth, the ability to see in the night time (lights), water for the essentials (cooking, house cleaning, laundry, and bathing) was not met in the sense as others were accustomed to. At times even the doors and windows were missing in some of the places we lived, yet some of the inconveniences seemed to place a bit of mystery on the surroundings, especially at night. It seemed all the shadows swelled to cover the forest and the entrances to the dwelling and every small crevice within and without.
The night brought with it a reaction in Mathias’ mind to explore away from the confines of the dwelling. Of course, someone near him would retrieve him and escort him back to where his siblings were, usually the oldest sibling (his sister). He could escape the confines of the dwelling through his mind at his hearts’ content, until his attention was brought back to the reality of his confined space.
Ultimately Mathias knew how he felt when undisturbed by others as he reveled in the knowledge of newfound imagery. Some would say it was his imagination. In time he knew the source of what it was. He experienced a reflection of himself.
Daytime brought an abundance of chores which needed attention by all in the household to be neat by a certain time in order to eat when there was sufficient means to meet the need of daily nourishment. Chores were meted out on an everyday occurrence, as each family member was able to do their share all chores must be done before school, and getting ready for school was a comical fiasco at best.
Mathias would watch with rounded eyes of wonder, his siblings hurrying about after chores speaking fast of what they were doing and why. He just couldn’t imagine going away in the morning to another place to learn when all they needed (he thought) was right in their close surroundings of hills, trees, and water, animals, all of nature spoke to him was his understanding.
So his childhood years ran their course in and out of memory. As he grew, his mind grew and stayed silent until something changed in him. A tempest was building within until later years when he finally was able to discern the cause. Some memories stayed with him, yet did not haunt him as with some of his older siblings.
The silent one (Mathias) knew the sky was blue, clouds clothed themselves because with their different shapes, wondrous sizes and array of colors, there was no teacher in the early years to guide him to life’s true path. He grasped all that was in his existence and locked it away for times coming. For his understanding to bloom forth from the depth of his being, for him to study and know the cause and effect of every morsel he had witnessed.
Storms came and went within the silent ones’ mind. Tumultuous at times and unnerving to his spirit, then calm, would be there for his rest, even as a child.
A glowing ray of sunlight washed over the hills and upon his childish face, warming him and setting off a chain of events centered in his mind. Mathias listened to the quiet wind and could discern voices of times past. He accepted all that he heard, knowing deep within himself the meaning of his hearing. Mathias kept these revelations to himself, not knowing what others might make of this.
Others around him would look at him, shake their heads and shrug their shoulders. Some would comment “Who is this child?” Some also said of Mathias, “He has that faraway stare; he is not here. He is elsewhere in his thoughts.” If they only knew he could hear their silent thoughts. There were those who feared him, for they could not understand his stillness, yet deep within their inner being they knew.
Summers, springs, falls, and winters came and went for him and his sibling. Fear was constant for his siblings. For him, he watched in silence every move and every wave of what their existence brought, to see the ending of all the days’ events. There was a storm building inside him and only he knew it was there. The young warrior was experiencing his battle within himself.
Echoes in the silence of the night reached the depths of his small heart, waving in its halls, yet silence called to him. No fear for him, no emotions welling up to flood his mind. That phase was yet to come at another juncture in his life.
Dreams of flying and floating about above the earth were common for Mathias. Some say that these are seen by many, yet when dreams of faces and events would unfold before the boy child, he was not surprised by meeting or seeing these dream images in person in an awakened state. He told no one of the fact of seeing or hearing what others could not fathom, for he knew should he speak of it others would laugh or believe he was not coping well with life.

Chapter 5

Mathias kept these dreams and images locked away for years along with other happenings. There was no speaking to the departed but he had and had seen them close to him as they departed in their last earth chance. It was as if he could feel their spirit pass him as he slept and would awaken abruptly knowing the minute of their passing.
Our spirit journey is ongoing throughout our lives, as some believe does not end at the cease of our earth dance, for it is said we dance on into the heavens where our creator exists eternal.
Fire in the night had summoned Mathias to waken to the existence of his inner battles. He would not rest for years to come. It was as though the owl screeched at night to alarm in his mind. Flicking shadows and shapes he saw as he peered through a haze of smoke, ash and fire red hot and angry. For he and a sibling came a breath away of feeling the death bird as it is called. To him, his sibling could not hear its voice or see the ominous sight of its flight. A short calm came over Mathias in that moment. Then came the reality of a silent rage that simmered for a period of his life to blossom to fullness in an ugly reign of madness. Others steered clear of him and could not grasp of why, yet he knew and let it sweep him along the corridors of many battles, for he knew no other way.
Another dawn, another knowing, instinctually he knew why and what of the reality of that previous night. Locked in his young heart the boy kept the scene fresh in his mind to be dredged to the surface now and again through the battle-torn years. Quiet and stillness came upon him and embraced him as a shroud, yet only one person knew and understood (his mother) his plight.
Mathias emerged himself in solitude and became watchful of every move and sound; it seemed the natural way for him. He was capable of seeing what others could not. As the boy grew, his intuitiveness blossomed with him. Vibrations ensured him of what he needed to do. Some said it hardened him what occurred that night, yet he understood that it opened a portal to a knowing which was his defense, in the coming years and somewhat plagued him also.
Mathias had memories of his siblings playing around him. He would join them half- heartedly, then would wonder off in the middle of it all, which would bring them calling for him and asking, “What are you doing?” He would simply look at them and now and then and say nothing, for in his mind he was alone in his thinking and doing also.
In school it was the same as with at home. He would not speak, yet he was learning more than anyone realized. Formal education had no bearing on him. He was able to read when he first entered school. No one knew until years later, his teachers surely did not know. All things were silent for him. Many thought he was incapable of reading or comprehending any subject because he did not speak. His intellect was intact yet he smothered it in the coming years, perhaps feeling that was the way of life.
 

Chapter 6

Even cursive writing was not a challenge for Mathias. As far-fetched as is sounds he mastered the art of reading and writing. He was more fascinated with natural surroundings rather than those noisy school rooms. Those rooms could not hold the thoughts wandering through his mind. The teachers would not allow him to step from the schoolrooms. Of course, he could roam from them in his effortless manner.
Mathias then has another memory, Leave me behind. He smiled and whispered, “I traveled these paths before you thought of planning of leaving me standing alone.” He peered at the car rolling away from him, drive away, he thought, For I know what lies ahead of you. Mathias had seen in his minds- eye the outcome of their actions.
As lightning struck, thunder roared across the mountain, streaks of red, gold, and white filled the valleys and the mountain range. Rain poured in sheets as the wind howled and awoke Mathias from dreamland. He peered through sleep-filled eyes at the wondrous cascade of colors so beautiful.
A startled cry came through the darkness from one of his siblings, crying “I am scared!” The young boy spoke softly to his brother, “Fear not; it is only a storm: rain to replenish the earth, animals, and humans. Lightening to refresh the air we breathe and thunder to speak its mighty voice.” The young boy’s brother looked strangely at him and cried no more.
Morning came with the wet fresh smell of rain. The air was clear, birds singing. The young boy could hear a bird singing his name, calling to him. So was his way he started off in that direction and the woman of the house took him by the one arm and asked, “Where are you going?” He looked at her for a full minute and stated, “I heard a bird call my name.” She inquisitively looked down at him and asked, “There is a bird that knows your name?”. The young boy grinned and chuckled, “They all know my name!”
The woman frowned and walked back to the house with him in tow. She walked straight to the telephone and dialed a number. The young boy could hear another woman say, “Hello how can I help you?” The woman of the house tried to speak softly and explain to the voice on the phone how this little boy said that the birds knew his name. The voice spoke again and said, “Do tell…could you bring him in and let the doctor talk to him and give him a checkup?” The woman of the house asked, “May I bring him in tomorrow?” The voice on the other end clearly said, “Yes you may-tomorrow at 11:00 a.m. Keep an eye on him. We will expect you then.”